It will be a new beginning for victims to leave an
abusive relationship but they think that’s it is a great risk for them so they
just continue the abusive relation.
People find it very difficult to understand why
victims don’t want to leave the abusive relationship. There are many reasons
for victims to stay in an abusive relation;
- Hope
That Abuse Will End One Day
After the incident of violence, abusers try to show
that he/she feel guilty and show that they have regret about what they have
done. It may be just a fake show off. Most of the abuser tries to convince
their partners that they will not do it again. They started to show some extra
love and care to influence their partner.
They try to explain that it’s just
because of some certain reason or they going through some severe pressure as a
result they become violent. Abusers tell the victims that he/she trying so hard
to stop this violence and they also need the help of their partners.
Victims should not believe the abuser because that
feel of guilt may be temporary. Victims should take some time before believing
the abuser.
- Victims
Have Been Isolated
Victims of violence don’t get any support from their
partner who is actually abuser. An abuser doesn’t allow their partner to go out
in social gatherings or stop them to attend any family meeting. Victims also
feel that nobody in their family believes that they get abused and they don’t
get any support from their family members as well.
- Leaving
Can Be Dangerous
Most of time women are killed by their partners just
because they want to leave the relation or they have just left. The abuse
becomes more intense in the case if women are pregnant. Their husband started
to hurt them more severely during the pregnancy. Women also feel so much fear
of their partners so they cannot leave. They don’t want to get hurt or killed
and also don’t want to hurt their children. Some women believe that their lives
will not be safer after leaving their husband.
- Leaving
Can Lead To Shame
Women feel it’s a very shameful for them to leave
their partners. They have fear of getting labelled as, divorced or separated
person. In Asian societies it’s very common that women feel it’s very
humiliating for them as well as for their family to get divorced. Western women
also feel the same shame. Another reason is some women have experienced
emotional abusive relationship for a very long time that they can’t even feel
confident enough to leave and live on their own.
- Leaving
Is a Process
Victims can’t leave the relation or their partners all
of sudden. It is a process and it takes some time. When victims leave for the
first time their purpose is just to check whether their partner going to make
some effort to bring them back and stop the violence. Victims also left their
partners just to check that they can live on their own and they have enough
resources to live a good life. Victims always give their partners some time by
leaving them for a short period of time, before making a decision of permanent
separation. Victims also looking for some support before leaving their partners
permanently.
