A Male Dominant Society

In a society of ours, mainly a male dominant society for decades, the issue of harassment, violence and abuse in all its forms is commonly prevalent. The ruling elite of the third world countries have not gone farther in its resolve to curtail the issues concerning exploitation. 

Zainab's Incident

Pakistan, unfortunately among-st one of the countries facing this menace, is taking serious measures to address the matters concerning harassment. The recent incident of “Zainab” has become a rallying cry for masses to put an end to violence. 

All segments of society showed grave concerns over increasing incidents of violation and exploitation. The rapid and swift judgment in the case will not bring the innocent life back but the hopes have been set high that such fearful episodes of violence and abuse will come to halt.

Intolerance of these kind of Abusive Behaviors

The painful incident and its hue and cry challenged the criminal and justice system. It also raised a question on the direction in which society is moving. The criminal was not only anticipated and brought to justice but more importantly the time in which all the proceedings have taken place has set an unprecedented example. The message was loud and clear that such shameful acts will not be tolerated in any manner by the society.

I am living in a society rather in a mob of people where respect, gender equality and justice is a far cry. The only solution, in my opinion, to get out of this vicious circle is to act united and introduction of laws which ensure strict punishments for the offenders.

Survivor of Emotional Abuse

Nancy, A Victim Suffered from Emotional Abuse

This is about a story of a survivor of emotional abuse, whose name is Nancy. Nancy suffered from Emotional Abuse throughout her 15-year married life. She said emotional abuse is more harmful than any other type of abuse and much damaging.

Through emotional abuse, Nancy’s partner damaged her soul; her partner used so hurting words which caused her pain and suffering. He tried to lower down her self-confidence and self-worth. He caused her deep pain, that’s why she started to feel his presence un-bearing.

Blamed Nancy for His Own Action

As being abuser her partner never took the responsibilities of his actions and always blamed Nancy. Whenever Nancy tried to stop him, he always made excuses to justify himself about his actions. He always ended his abusive behavior by saying that she is the reason behind his behavior and she deserved this kind of abuse. She faced threats, shouting, insults, criticism, and humiliation. At the end of his humiliating behavior, her partner called it as a humor just to justify himself. He never allowed her to say anything about in her defense and not gave any attention to her explanations.

Her Partner’s Purpose to Abuse

One of the purposes of emotional abuse of Nancy’s partner was just to be showed himself as superior to her. He tried this also through his body language. He always chose to walk or stand in front of her, so she could feel in-equality. He never walked beside her whenever they are outside together. Sometimes he also says this thing verbally, that Nancy is not equal to him. His partner never said good or nice things to her so she could not feel something special. He always made her feel that she does not deserve any kind of appreciation.

Lack of Communication

Nancy also faced lack of communication from his partner’s side. He was so secretive and holds the information which was important to both of them like their financial affairs. Mostly he made the decisions which were affecting both of them, without her consent or without her involvement in final decisions. He also refused to answer her questions. He didn’t communicate with her, without being abusive and never listen what she wanted to say. 

Nancy Decided to Leave

Nancy finally realized that living under these conditions is not good for health and well-being. She made many attempts to change the behavior of her partner, but he refused them all and not gave a little attention to her efforts.  He always blamed Nancy that she is the one who couldn’t communicate well and she is the reason just because that he is unable to show his love and affection to children and Nancy.

Finally Nancy admitted she could never end this cycle of her partner’s abusive behavior and never able to end the pain through which she and her children were suffering. So she decided to implement her options to set her and children free.

Confronting Emotional Abuse

Normally, it is hard for people to confront emotional abuse because usually it relates to close relative around the person like spouse, parent, or child. The person suffers as the confrontation results in strong reaction from the emotional abusers. 

Sometimes, it is possible that the relationship needs to be ended in order to save the victim from immense stress and restlessness. The emotional abuse needs to be dealt with due and intense as it is quite delicate and cautious for the relationships. 

Here are the tips to confront and overcome emotional abuse:

See it:

First of all the person needs to analyse the type of abuse he is facing from the potential abuser and then act accordingly. Emotional abuse includes nitpicking, embarrassing someone to cause shame, guilt tripping, alienation from friends and family, and excessive use of anxiety, anger, fear or rejection.

Speak it:

This step includes courage and strength to explain yourself in front of the emotional abuser and confronting him. Firstly, try to utter back words to the abuser that comes from him in order to realize him that the tone he is using is not good enough and consistent. 

"Work until your idols become rivals"

It is not a hard approach as it seems because it is just a try to let the abuser think that what he is doing and saying is not right. Let him realize that he should refrain from using this kind of language as it is not healthy for the relationship. If this method does not work, move on to the next step.

Stress it:

If the soft approach discussed above fails to stop the emotional abuser from using harsh words, the victim needs to move on to the next step and start saying that he won’t take it anymore as it is getting out of hands. He then needs to put more stress over his words like: You will not make me feel and I will not do something out of fear.

Stand By it:

Once the victim has put more stress on his words then he should stand for his words and for himself if he is still facing the abuses. Otherwise he might face some more emotional abusive behavior. However, the victim needs to keep himself under limits so that he might not lose his ground of being fair with the abuser. Doing this is difficult but not impossible. 

Having a healthy relationship without emotionally abusive behavior is possible and one should work hard for it.

"There is nothing wrong with being small. You can do big things with a small team."

Effects of Emotional Abuse on Adults

The effects of physical abuse can be seen easily, but effects of emotional abuse cannot be spot easily. Emotional abuse doesn’t affect person physically but psychologically. The victim of emotionally abusive person doesn’t feel comfortable in his/her work, school and other areas of life. For married couples, emotional abuse also affects their sex life.

Most of the victims of emotional abuse don’t complain about the abuse and always blame themselves. Victims mostly said that it was just ‘saying of words’ they didn’t get hit by their partner. As a result there could be very severe effects on a person.

Short-Term Effects of Emotional Abuse

Most of the times emotionally abusive couple finds themselves in a situation about which they doesn’t know, how this situation arise. They get themselves confusing about the situation and questioning about it how it rises.

The short effect of emotional abuse is that most of time victims remain confusing and surprising about things. They may face memory issues as they find it difficult to recall what actually happens. Victim may blame themselves and feel guilty. 

Sometimes victim also show aggression to defend them from getting abused. The lack of confidence is also due to emotional abuse, victim started to avoid eye contact. Victim of emotional abuse thinks he/she is so weak and always thinks they can’t win anything. They feel that they controlled by other persons and they can’t act according to their will.

Long-Term Effects of Emotional Abuse

The long term effect of emotional abuse is in a way that victim lose his/her self-esteem. Victims feel that they are dependent on their partners and are not worthy of non-abusive relation. They can’t leave their partners and started to believe that all the things which are said by their partner about them are right.

The effect of emotional abuse is that the victim started to feel so much depressed. He/she feels himself/herself as a low worthy. Victims also become emotionally in-stable. Sleeplessness is also a result of emotional abuse and victim feels physical pain without any cause. Victims also started to have trust issues and they started to think about suicide and most of the time they also attempt to do so.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is a form of communal violence that circles all forms of non-physical violence and distress caused through non-verbal and verbal acts. Emotional abuse is calculated and employ and is a method of control. 

It often occurs in partnership with other types of abuse, but it may also occur alone. Just like other kinds of abuse, emotional abuse most commonly affects those with the least power and resources.

Emotional abuse can happen to anyone at any time in their lives. Children, teens and adults all experience emotional abuse and emotional abuse can have destructive effects on relationships. Just because there is no physical harm doesn't mean the abuse isn't exist and isn't a problem or a crime.

Emotional abuse can be defined as:

 "Any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth."

People who go through any emotional abuse have very low self-esteem, show personality changes, such as becoming withdrawn and may become depressed, anxious or may have suicidal thoughts.

Emotional Abuse Signs and Symptoms

Emotional abuse symptoms vary from individual to individual. Signs of emotional abuse include:

• Yelling or swearing 
• Name calling or insults
• Threats 
• Ignoring or excluding
• Isolating
• Humiliating
• Denial of abuse
• Blaming of the victim

Emotional abuse tends to take the form of a cycle. In a relationship, this cycle starts when one partner emotionally abuses the other. The abuser then feels guilt, but not about what he or she does, but more over the results of his or her actions. 

The abuser then gives reasons for his own action to avoid taking responsibility over what he or she had done. The abuser then shows "normal" behavior as if the abuse never happened. In fact, he or she acts extra charming, apologetic and giving – making the abused party believes that the abuser is sorry. The abuser then begins to imagine about abusing his partner again and build up a situation in which more emotional abuse can take place.

Examples of Emotional Abuse

Following are the examples of Emotional Abuse;

•         Threats of violence or abandonment
• Intentionally frightening
• Making an individual fear that they will not receive the food or care they need
• Lying
• Failing to check allegations of abuse against them
• Making derogation or slanderous statements about an individual to others
• Socially isolating an individual, failing to let them have visitors
• Withholding important information
• Demeaning an individual because of the language they speak
• Intentionally misinterpreting traditional practices
• Repeatedly raising the issue of death
• Telling an individual that they are too much trouble
• Ignoring or excessively criticizing
• Being over-familiar and disrespectful
• Unreasonably ordering an individual around; treating an individual like a servant or child

Effects of Emotional Abuse

The effects of emotional abuse may be harder to point out because like physical abuse it does not have and marks but have both short term and long term effects.

Short-Term Effects

Short-term effects of emotional abuse include:

• Surprise and confusion
• Questioning of one's own memory, "did that really happen?"
• Anxiety or fear
• Shame or guilt
• Aggression
• Becoming overly passive or compliant
• Frequent crying
• Avoidance of eye contact
• Feeling powerless
• Feeling manipulated, used and controlled
• Feeling undesirable

Long-Term Effects

In long-term emotionally abuse, the victim has such low self-esteem that they often feel that they are not worthy of a non-abusive relationship. Adult emotional abuse leads to the victim believing the terrible things that the abuser says about him/her. Emotional abuse victims often think they are going crazy or going mad.

Effects of long-term emotional abuse include:

• Depression
• Withdrawal
• Low self-esteem and self-worth
• Emotional instability
• Sleep disturbances
• Physical pain without cause
• Suicidal idealization, thoughts or attempts
• Extreme dependence on the abuser
• Underachievement
• Inability to trust
• Feeling trapped and alone
• Substance abuse

Emotional Abuse Treatment and Therapy

Emotional abuse treatment and therapy is available to help either one or both parties in the abusive situation. Emotional abuse treatment might be sought after experiencing emotional abuse in a personal relationship or even at work.

In abusive situations, abusive behavioral and thought patterns tend to become deep-rooted over time and emotional abuse therapy can address this and work to create healthy, functional relationships in the future.

Emotional Abuse Treatment for the Abuser

Sometimes, the victim can bully the abuser into emotional abuse treatment either in a couple or individual therapy setting. This is rarely helpful and can harm the relationship. In couple's therapy, the abuser has the chance to misrepresent themselves and charm the therapist into believing there is nothing wrong with them and behave as if the victim has all the problems.

 Individual therapy for emotional abuse is even worse because the therapist doesn't even have the victim's take on the interaction. The therapist is likely to understand the feelings of the abuser because of which he abused the victim.

Even if the individual therapy is successful in dealing with the deep-seeded emotional problems of the abuser, this might make the abuser angry and give him or her another reason to emotionally abuse the victim.

Only if the emotional abuser understand that they have a problem with emotional abuse and are prepared to openly deal with it can emotional abuse therapy even have a chance to be successful.

Emotional Abuse Treatment for the Victim

Emotional abuse treatment for the victim has more chance of being successful but only if the victim is prepared to be as open and honest as possible about the abuse. 

Many emotional abuse victims hide the abuse, even from therapists, due to their own shame and guilt. An emotional abuse therapist though, can only help when they truly understand the problem.

physical Abuse

Physical abuse is a force against a person that causes injury or possibilities of injury. Physical abuse examples are pushing, slapping, punching and shaking someone in a way that may cause injuries.

Mostly children and women are victims of physical abuse. Sometimes physical abuse is may be personally, as a person hurt himself/herself due to severe depression.

Causes of Physical Abuse

Physical abuse may be cause due to very low parental-child interactions. Some people feel their-self very week. They think they are not able to interact with other persons. Those type of people abuse themselves physically. Family and marital conflict are one of the major causes of physical abuse.

Mostly wives are physically abused by their husbands. This is due to lack of understanding between them. The other reason is couples have high expectation from each other, but once they cannot get what they expected, they may suffer from high stress and it result physical abuse.

Children abuse may be caused due to poor understanding of parents about their children’s behavior. Lack of attention towards children may also cause family issue, as a result parents responses in physical way.

Effects of Physical Abuse

• Physical Effects of Physical Abuse

Short term physical effects of physical abuse can be treated by healthcare. These may include cuts or broken bones. Long term physical effects may last for a very long time. These effects include high blood pressure, heart diseases and sexually transmitted disease in case where sexual abuse is a part of physical abuse.

Physical abuse effects pregnant women in way that those women started to lose weight. It may result into per-term delivery, low infant birth weight or may cause miscarriage. 

• Psychological Effects of Physical Abuse

 Psychological effects of physical abuse are also very long lasting. The effective person may suffer throughout his/her life. Psychological effects may result into severe depression. The abused person may start to take drugs and started to drink alcohol. The women, who are facing physical abuse, have 16 times greater risk of drinking alcohols.

The psychological effect of physical abuse may also result into mental disorder and suicidal behavior. This also causes the eating disorder and behavior and personality disorder.

child Abuse

The rapid monetary boom and improvement that has passed off in South Asia in recent years that brings advantage to tens of millions of human beings. however, it has additionally opened the opportunity of new sorts of violence against children. 

Child Abuse In South Asia

International forums and its regional community partners had been paying attention especially to the sexual abuse and exploitation that threatens children especially living in the eight SAARC (South Asian Association For Regional Cooperation) countries.

Even though sexual violence/abuse is a trouble of global dimensions, its impact mainly on South Asian children is exasperate by way of the multiplex social and monetary backdrop. South Asia is a land of disparity. It is the fastest developing region in the world and leads rate of urbanization and technological development. 

It also includes the largest awareness. poor and modern-day slaves. This results inside the maximum range of out-of-school, child laborer’s and child brides of the world’s low training ranges, child trafficking, child labor (consisting of domestic child labor), early marriage, dangerous/unsafe migration, slavery and servitude, delivered to humanitarian crises due to conflicts and climate change, work as influential triggers in exposing children to damage in the region. South Asian children are regularly connecting with child sex predators online. First generation cybernetics are finding within the internet an extraordinary window on a world from where conventional South Asian communities have been formerly concealed. 

Child Sexual Exploitation

They will, but have fewer instruments than peers in other regions of the sector to shield themselves from online child sexual exploitation in a situation in which their own parents and teachers are often blind to the dangers/risks. 

Poverty, A Main Cause of Abuse

Poverty and marginalization can create online sufferers of sexual exploitation even among children who're nevertheless denied get access to facts and communication technologies. 

As fundamental children’s rights are yet to be universally fulfilled, underage girls and boys are troubled through trafficking for sexual motive, online sexual exploitation and sexual exploitation through touring.